Totally Random Note: I’ve got my pens with me again! -After Paris I forgot them in the bus, a friends picked them up, and gave them back to me today- My excitement couldn’t be bigger!
Totally Random Note: I’ve got my pens with me again! -After Paris I forgot them in the bus, a friends picked them up, and gave them back to me today- My excitement couldn’t be bigger!
So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, comformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
-CHRISTOPHER MCCANDLESS
(via bruddstykker)
(via clickealo)
This post goes to a really good friend, from Letland, she totally teached me to live chill and don’t over care. “Why no? Just try!”
(via teenagerposts)
-Meanwhile I write, Beirut sounding from my head-phones. Awesome, right?-
Everything started with the question of a belgian friend time ago -“What dreams do you have?”-, in the moment I just answered something and forgot about it. Around 2 months later we also talked about our personals Bucket Lists, our biggest most do it desires. Then, in my easter-vacation in Germany, I read “Paper Towns”, by John Green, and got all excited about Road Trips & self discovering. Like 4 months later of that first question, my best friends gave me a book called: “My Future Listography Book: All I hope to do in Lists”, where all my dreams are into different amazing lists. A month ago I found the TCK page and couldn’t stop reading the essays about life aboard. Now I’m reading “On the Road”, and I’m amaze how Jack Kerouac writes & describes all those lifes and thoughs screaming for life experience. And, also, “working” in the hospital is fulling my mind with wonder about life and dead. Everything is getting together & kind of collapsing inside of me.
It sounds tipical but, I don’t know whats going on inside me that I can’t just enjoy this great adventure I’m having. I feel free & fresh, but I’m constanly thinking about my future… A part of me knows what “needs” to be done -Go back to Chili, study my ass off, get in to University, finish it & see if I wanna/can live in other country- and other just wants to enjoy my young age, discover myself & follow an untipical/unaccepted life travelling. I can easily go safe, and follow what society tell us to follow, or be wild, giving a damn about everything. What kind of person I’m becoming? What the hell I want for myself? I wanna keep playing percussions in a band, getting drunk, spending long nights talking & walking in empty streets or busses in the way home, go to concerts, camping, “coloring outside the lines”, go with the flow and felling confortable between the unknow. All that I do have it now, and I know I don’t wanna lose it, but everything will change as soon I step one foot in my flight back home.
I know, I know, I just need to calm myself and enjoy the now.
I’d being doing that the last 8 months, but knowing what I need/want to do doesn’t leave my thoughs about future in peace. I can’t get relax until I’m not into an unexpected situation, and this is making me crazy cause I live in a family with rules and I can’t just do what ever the hell I want just cause “I feel more confortable having adventures & fun”. I don’t wanna miss the fun & learning that living “going with the flow” can bring, but I know life doesn’t work like that, there is a buch of sacrifices during it.
And life it is not only what I want for me now -learning- but also thinking in the “future me”, and all what she might want, and that’s why I wanna study. To be independent the soonest possible & live thruly free, not needing to ask first before do things that only concerns me. -I say this with all the well-winned respect, parents, do not take it personal- And I know myself, I wanna have a home where to come back -My name, Eliana, actually means home- cause at the end of the day I’m a familly person. But I wanna live my youth, and both things not seem to mix for me now… I know they do, but I haven’t figure it out how in my life.
Note: I’m having all this crazy energy that only wants more adventures & travelling, and is such madman energy that I easily forget that I’m living a year of it. I should calm down a bit.
- a tribute to my Dad.
Before-Reading Context:
I spend more than hundred friday night staying until late hours just to talk with my parents about life & learning, I love listening what their experience has to says.
My Mom is a always-follow-your-heart-and-mind marvelous woman, and my Dad is a At-age-of-14-I-read-Great-Philosophers amazing buddy. So, you can imagen that I, with not experience, spend “18” years listening them totally facinated; amaze hearing all those self-lived stories or about great thinker’s thoughs. Everything kind of mixed up in me & made me a person that loves learning & discovering.
The photo is similar to one of the sentences my Dad constaly repeat but before I couldn’t really understand -He is a deep guy, I had found myself quoting him several times-
__________________________
I badly miss those conversations so I videocalled my Dad & told him about my fellings of being from nowhere & everywhere at the same time. I’m not chilean, I’m not belgian, I’m just another girl wanting to know more about this marvelous world and experience it all. My Dad’s answer? He feel the same in himself reading a book at the age of 15, but, he said, their is a big difference between us: I actually made decisions seaking for this experience. He was afraid & poor, he wanted to see it all but have no idea how -He started my family’s bussines from nothing, with my mom worked entire nights without sleeping to finish furnitures & get some money- so when I was 11 and said about wating to go aboard my parents worked even harder to send me with AFS, in the meanwhile I worried to have the good enough grades to go. I’ll forever be grateful with them, they’d gave me so damn much!
Things in life had being working out perfect for me, & I realiced, after our small conversation, how much he understand my desires for travel & do more exchange programs. We both understand how he, in 40 years, learned things that took me a year to heartly-know. I like knowing how he’s proud of me & himself -Cause after years and years of work he is abble to give us, his kids, opportunities he only could dream at our age-, & that he respect my independence, cause he knows about this. He knows how is the felling, and a bunch of people around the globe also knows, but is he… He is who teached me to love this, he, with all his peacefull madness for living, raced me up wanting to know by myself & books all what the world has to offer me. How couldn’t I care about what he has to say?
I’m a Daddy’s Girl, but not the tipical kind, even though I did got everything I really wanted. I’m a Daddy’s Girl that got everything that she wanted when was about growing as an integral person. And I’m damn grateful, & proud of being his daughter.
I was expecting more money
Belgian’s Asses only weighting 200grs?… Dat aaaaint right!
(via clickealo)
And aint gonna sit to wait him to travel, but when he arrives, together, we’re gonna make this world rock! -Oh, yeah, I’m a life-romantic.
(via acrosstheborders)
Note:You “should” know that belgian weather changes really easily, & there is not such thing back in my country… Days start sunny, then rains, just later snows, &, just before down, sun appears again -This happend a time ago- Natives hate this weather, I found it magical. I love not know whats gonna come next, & when the unexpected arrives l enjoy it like crazy!
Today was magnificant! My good vibes, my bike & I took the longest way home just to enjoy all those big dropes of water falling, that hadn’t stop the whole day, all over me -Even my socks where totally wet- Wich, in combination with some songs of this band made my way home unforgettable. I felt that moment so damn perfect.
